Death and Question

This is recording of what M has been questioning me:

M: Why do people die ?

H: When people get old they die because the heart stops pumping blood and one dies.

M: Will you die ? When will you die ?

H: I will die too. But not soon, long time.

M: How long ?

H: 100 year old I will die.

M: How old are you now.

H: 35 and 100 is a long way off.

M: No. it is not. You cannot die. You cannot leave me.

Then M stops and thinks and looks really sad and finally says ” Mom we won’t celebrate any more of your birthdays”

Her fear of losing me is making me really sad. I don’t know how much she thinks about death and what she perceives. I fear asking more about it. I don’t want her to think much more than what she is already thinking. I woke up middle of the night wanting to protect her and hugged her in the fear that I would really leave her alone in the case I really die. What will happen to her ! How will she survive and what will happen to all my dreams for her.


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