NPR Show…

http://www.npr.org/2014/05/20/314239583/in-life-and-fiction-edward-st-aubyn-sheds-the-weight-of-his-past

This radio show just shook me at my core. It makes me realize what happens and what can be and what is. How to have compassion for oneself. The authors voice is so authentic and so filled with what he feels. it is because it is real that it brings emotions. I shuddered at certain parts of the talk..gosh..I know things happen, but with a radio show and someone talking to you personally, it is like you can see it happen through your car windows..just out in the open…..I was listening to it driving.

The author edward-st-aubyn also states how someone can relate to through a book more than people in your life. How a book author who is dead now can clearly explain what you feel in words that yourself cannot form. The power of books is that it is a personal communication between the author and the reader.

Gathering the courage to listen to the radio show again…

The secret in their eyes

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1305806/?ref_=ttqt_qt_tt

This movie is quite amazing. I saw it a while ago, but it resonates today.

I don’t have access to this movie now, but if I recollect correctly the guy who is imprisoned for murdering says this “Please talk to me, say one word”, “please ask him to talk to me”. This is a kind of torture punishment where the person is physically not harmed but it probably is one of the worst kind of torture and the impact of this is not comparable to any other kind of torture.

It happens, people don’t look at you for years, months or days, even living under the same roof. The silence causes a monologue in the mind which is very hard to break out off. It is addictive too and it engulfs your thoughts, your personality, your motivation, you desire to be anything even if being insignificant was the purpose.

Solitary confinement happens in everyday life. The silence that creeps into peoples lives either by choice or just something that was not regulated. But it does become the primary source of pain if silence decides to build a house in your home.